Whilst strolling round the canal this morning about 11 am., I noticed a terrorist slip from the canalside and fall into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he'd surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the law of numanity that requires you to help those in distress, I informed the Police, the Coastguard, the Immigration Office and even the Fire Station.
...
It is now 11:00 p.m., he has drowned, and none of the authorities have yet responded.
